Sometimes being a mum is so hard

Sometimes I hate being a mum! I had to take Sam to the hospital today for a blood test.

He has terrible eczema and we think he is allergic to certain foods, but can't quite pinpoint what.
So we had arranged for him to have some allergy tests done. Now I just assumed that they would be skin prick tests like we had done for Ben, but oh no, they decide to do RAST tests (whatever they are) instead. All I know is that meant Sam had to provide enough blood for at least 5 samples.

Now normally they would put anaesthetic cream on for children, but since they do the blood test in the inner elbow (as for adults) and Sam has eczema there, he had to make do with a cold spray.

I have never heard him make the noise he made when they inserted the needle before. He was sat on my lap facing me, supposedly having a cuddle, and he cried through the whole thing. I expected him to scream when the needle went in, but he didn't, he just made this awful noise (like animals do when they are in pain) that ripped at my heart. And it didn't stop. He was so bruised where they had tried to get his vein to stand up, that he cried for a good 5 minutes after we got back to the car, because he said he "didn't like his arm any more as it hurts Mummy"

I know it is important to find out about his allergies, but to watch your son in pain like that and know that it is partly your fault for letting it happen is soooooo hard!!